A Reflection of 2012...

   Wow! 2012 has been quit a year and although I've had many good as well as BAD memories from it..it will be unforgettable. As the year comes to an end, I look back and realize I have grown as a person in so many ways. I am happy overall that I found myself turning to GOD this year. Never thought my religious views would change. Its funny because even though I found God, tests kept coming my way. I know once you find God it doesn't mean things will become easier but this has been one crazy, faith-testing year. I am proud to say that although it's been tough, I haven't gave up on being positive. I remember starting the year destroyed  to have lost Erick. Then it was starting 2012 learning how to cope with the feelings as well as learning to be alone. I had hit a depression I never felt before. I had to jump into school before I even got the chance to realize what was going on. After almost 4 yrs and maybe even more of having school with him by my side, I had to start a whole new year alone. Getting by the first few months was difficult. Then it was trying a new/ old relationship hoping it would help me get over Erick as well as help me have some fun. That wasn't so bad...actually it did do some help. Maybe it kind of pushed me to be my own person again. Although it didn't feel real at times, it was fun and I thank the person for helping me get through some rough times. It was difficult to maintain at times and getting out knowing that it would be best..well that was hard. I also had met someone who I seemed to be really into..friendship never went anywhere. Then came back at the end of the year and has been a great friend ever since. I also had to deal with making new friends and even losing some close ones.  I started a whole new fall semester and DANCE helped me since day one. I choreographed my own piece. Did my own solo, everything was just going Great. I also met someone who gave me hope. It was short, fun, and exciting. Didn't go anywhere but made my Tuesdays & Thursdays :)...He proved to me that good things do happen to those who wait.
   I unfortunately had to finish the year, after amazing performances, with a knee injury. I tore my ACL and it's official now. I will need surgery. My plan is to be a "souldja" and just get by spring semester. I hope I can still attend ACDF and then get surgery in the summer. Maybe take off fall :( recover and go back to normal. Just like last year, this year I am ending with an "injury." This is much more serious then losing Erick yet I am strong and positive about this. Its funny because losing Erick was for good and I knew he wouldn't come back but I was horrible emotionally and couldn't see passed a day. Dance is my life and thank god I will be able to get it back after some hard work and even if it's going to be painful I'm not so sad about it. First couple of days, I was bad. I'm not going to lie but I feel that if I have God in my heart and the passion for dance like no other then this is only an obstacle I have to overcome before I get to what really matters. I wont forget after a performance how a couple approached me and wouldn't stop admiring my dancing. They wanted to take pictures with me  I remember they said they couldn't keep their eyes of me because through out the whole performance I was smiling and I looked like I truly enjoyed it.
   I do! I love every single second that I'm on stage and I will continue to work for it. In the meantime, I will become strong and even though I have been struggling this year I know for a fact 2013 will be a good year! I'll make it that way! This year I don't have much of a Resolution list I want to go by. Well I did, but now all I want is to make the most of each day and live less days of feeling down. It's not all difficult and just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. I'm happy and have a lot to learn from! Ready for a New Year!

Note to Self: Every problem has a solution, every question has an answer, and with every door that closes a window opens. Just because things get tough doesn't mean they will stay bad forever. Once they start becoming good you wont even notice, Julie, You'll be too busy smiling and enjoying life as it comes. Embrace it!